Episode 225: The One Thing NOT Required to Lose Weight


Corinne:

Hi, I’m Corinne, after a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:

All right everybody, welcome back. Today we are in clubhouse and we are going to be taking questions and doing all the coaching for anybody who wants it today. I’m going to go ahead and introduce myself, I’m Corinne Crabtree, I’m the host of the Losing 100 Pounds Podcast, which we’re recording now, and the CEO and founder of the NO BS Weight Loss Program. I’ve got on stage with me Miss Kathy Hartman and Sarah Gross, who are going to be helping me out today answering questions, doing all the learning and all that kind of stuff. So I’m going to hand it over to Sarah, who’s going to get us all kicked off and we’re going to start with our topic of the day.

Sarah:

Good morning, everyone. This is Sarah here. We are talking about today the one thing not required to lose weight. I’m really excited to see what this is, and Corinne’s going to get that started in a moment. But I just want to remind everyone, if you have a weight loss question, go ahead and raise your hand now here. And at the top of the hour, Corinne is going to be sharing three key ways to know what to eat, so stay tuned at the top of the hour for that tip. All right Corinne, what is the one thing required not to lose weight?

Corinne:

So we were talking about this the other day, and it’s going to sound counterintuitive, but I know all of you know that the way that I teach weight loss is you’re going to make a plan for the day, so you’re going to write down ahead of time, “Here are the foods that I’m going to eat.” But the one thing that’s really not required to lose weight is what I would call a diet food plan, which means I’m going to go out and I’m going to pay someone to tell me the foods I only can eat. And this is what most of us have been conditioned and this is what most of us have been taught to do by the diet industry is that, “Hey, babe. You’re just not smart enough, so what you really need to do is you need to only eat things and you can only have this stuff. And you know all that food you really love? Well, that’s a no.” What we have been taught in the traditional sense when it comes to dieting is that there are certain foods that are good for you, there are certain foods that are bad for you, there’s these specific ways that you should eat and if you do it this way, you’ll lose weight.

Corinne:

And what’s happened is that through time, the diet industry has bastardized food. They have made us afraid of food. We worry that we can’t control ourselves around food. We start getting irrational ears around food. I remember there used to be an old ad that would run around on Pinterest and Facebook and stuff where basically it would have a banana and a big red X over it as if bananas were such a detriment. And I still poach people to this day on trying to get over their fucking fear around some fruit. Like, “Well I heard that bananas will make you overweight.” That got started way back in the day when people were really trying to make this stane on carbs. Carbs are bad, if you just don’t eat carbs, you’ll lose weight. And so they used the banana as a really good way of showing that there are these foods you shouldn’t be eating. And so then it got bastardized.

Corinne:

Well, I always talk about in the podcast, when I weighed 250 pounds, my problem wasn’t that I was a banana hoarder. I was never just sitting around OD-ing on bananas and apples and fruit. No, there were lots of things that I was doing in order to weigh 250 pounds, but fruit wasn’t my problem. But the diet industry, in order to click bait you and get you to click on their food plan and get you to do these things, is if they will just take these common foods that are actually good for us and if they villainize them and make them bad and create all this fear around it, you’ll be desperate to buy their program. You will think they have the answer, “This is the key, they’ve unlocked some knowledge over there around food that I don’t have. And if I just get that, then I’ll lose weight.” It’s just a bunch of bullshit. I’m just going to tell all of you right now, when it comes to weight loss, it’s super simple. You got to drink water, you got to get at least seven hours of sleep every single night. If you’re not hungry, don’t eat.

Corinne:

Like seriously, one of my basics when I teach people, and trust me, learning how to not eat when you aren’t hungry is a hard enough skill in and of itself. But it’s also easy, you don’t have to have a lot of rules around it. It’s like, “Am I hungry? No.. So because I’m bored, I’m tired, overwhelmed, stressed out or whatever, I’m just going to need to figure out all of that stuff and how not to eat around it versus, “well, let me consult my restrictive ass food plan that deprives me of foods that I love and see if it’s time to eat.” You don’t need any of that. The other rule, don’t eat until your full. As humans, we were never meant to stuff ourselves like a damn Thanksgiving turkey. We’re meant to eat until we’ve had enough. And once we’ve had enough, we’re supposed to wait again until we’re damn hungry. And I don’t mean starving, but we are as a species designed to wait for some hunger, eat some food, go about life, do our normal shit that we would normally be doing, and then wait again for food. But what we’ve been taught be the diet industry is these plans we have to follow them we have to do all this other stuff.

Corinne:

What we’re not learning with all of these plans is really simple. We’re not learning that one we’ve ate until enough, now you’re supposed to go out in life and appreciate it, work, show up when you don’t want to, take care of business, go after your dreams. You’re supposed to do things in between meals. But what most of us are doing is, “Well, in between meals, I don’t like my life.” Or, “In between meals, I get so fucking stressed out because I’m not managing my mind, I’m just going to eat to take the edge off.” And that’s what most of us have been conditioned. Trust me, if that’s you, if you’re like, “Yeah Corinne, I get it, every night at eight o’clock I’m eating because I’ve had a long day and I think I deserve it. Every day at three o’clock, I’m hitting the vending machine because I’m so tired and I can’t wait until five o’clock. I just need to get up and do something so that I’m not just sitting here focused on how bored as fuck or how much shit I have to do at work.”

Corinne:

If you’re going out on the weekends and you’re eating your face off most of the weekend because you’ve had a hard week, there is no diet plan that’s cutting out bananas or bread or whatever or telling you to only eat this food category, none of them are ever going to solve for that. That’s why you don’t need a diet plan. So I told you water and sleep, fucking basics that we all need, makes sense. You need to start when you’re hungry, that’s your eating window, and you end when you’ve had enough, not when you’re stuffed. That is the literal eating window.

Corinne:

The last key component, if you’re going to have a plan, is you’re going to do what I teach my people is get up in the morning, think about your day. Like think about it, what’s realistic? What makes sense? What foods do I want to enjoy? If I know I’m only going to eat when I’m hungry and I’m going to stop at enough, that means that I open door to be able to eat the foods I love. So I’m going to put some shit down on a plan. Now, when three o’clock comes and the, “I’m tired as fuck and overwhelmed by my job,” bell rings, and I’m wanting to get a Snickers, but my 7:00AM self said, “We don’t really need that. We didn’t write that down.” That’s when you follow you plan.

Corinne:

You make a plan ahead of time that takes care of your needs for the day, it knows your schedule, it needs that you need to go through a drive through tonight because you got your kids and soccer and they’re on two different ends of the city. You’re not going to be Martha Stewart tonight and go home and cook an elaborate meal, but you for sure can plan which restaurant you’re going to do as drive through and put it on ahead of time, think it through like I will order this so I don’t roll up into the drive through like I do every other week and just go like, “Fuck it, I’m tired, we got so many places to go, this is just going to have to do. I’ll start again tomorrow.” We want to break those bullshit habits.

Corinne:

That’s why you want to make a food plan each day that takes into consideration your life and the things that are going on. And it plans food, and it also plans for the windows where you need to learn how to do without the food because you’re using it as a crutch to get through your day. Let’s take away the crutches and let’s start learning how to get through our day with our mind, with boundaries, with saying no sometimes instead of people pleasing. If you’re going to work on something, stop googling for a diet plan and start googling an article on how to set up boundary. When you start working on that shit, you going to lose weight. We need to start working on the real shit, not this bullshit put out by the diet industry.

Corinne:

So that’s kind of my little rant on what you don’t need to lose weight. So I’ll turn it back over to you, Sarah, and you can ask us some questions.

Sarah:

I’m curious if Kathy has anything to add to this.

Kathy:

I just love how Corinne boils it down to brass tacks. Really and truly, this whole food plan issue, this whole food plan concept, brings up to me those diets I did do that had that real restrictive food plan and how it’s effected me for my life. So I hate beets because I was on a diet one time where I had to eat a cup of beets, like a full cup of canned beets twice a day. And now just the thought of that nauseates me. Tuna right out of the can, things like that. So not only is it restricting you from foods that you like, it might be giving you foods that you can’t stand. And who wants to live like that? So that’s all I really have to say. I just love how Corinne just boils it down to instead of focusing on what you’re eating, focusing on why you eat. It’s just beautiful, just a beautiful thing.

Sarah:

I really love that point. When you buy these food plans off the internet, they usually include foods you don’t love. I remember Kathy, I bought a juice cleanse recipe booklet and all the juices had beet juice in them. It tastes like dirt, but I drank it, it was terrible. And that diet, I failed it. I think once I finished that juice cleanse I probably gained 20 pounds because I was eating nothing but beet juice for a week. And that brings me to another question. So if we’re not following a diet plan from the internet, what do we actually eat? Can we actually lose weight eating carbs? Can we have dessert and lose weight? Can we actually plan the foods that we love? Can you explain more how that works?

Corinne:

Yeah, so it kind of goes back to what I was saying. So I teach a concept called good, better, best. If you go to our podcast, we’ll put it in the show notes, we’ll put in there, “This is the podcast you should listen to.” One of the things that we have to realize is that, so I just want all of you to sit and think about when you eat. The problem isn’t the things we eat most of the time. This is why I always say in weight loss, the very first thing you want to do is you want to get some freedom around food by planning things you haven’t been planning because the problem isn’t the food, the problem comes in when we’re eating emotionally with it. So let’s say that tonight I want to have some nachos, and I wrote on my plan, “Nachos for dinner, going out to eat, going to get them.” I will gain weight if I stroll up in the restaurant thinking, “I never get nachos, this is such a treat, I hope I don’t overeat them.” And basically I’m going in anxious around the nachos. Nachos arrive, I start eating, I start thinking, “Oh my god, they taste so good. I better eat all of them because I don’t know when I’ll get them again. I rarely ever have them.”

Corinne:

What ends up happening with food and nachos is when you have that kind of thinking around the food, you’re going to eat more uncontrollably or you’re going to stuff yourself because you’re sitting there telling yourself, “This food is bad and it means that I need to get all of it done and ate now because maybe tomorrow I’m going to start over or I’ve taught myself over time I’m now going to restrict.” So the problem was never the nachos, ever. The problem was the relationship I was having with them before I ate them going in like a nervous ass jackrabbit, terrified that I wasn’t going to be able to control myself, and then deciding to eat them like a maniac because I told myself beforehand about how hard it was going to be. And then when I get into the middle of it, I’m not thinking about, “Am I enjoying it?” I’m not thinking about, “Hey, it’s really great that I’m having some nachos and if I want more, I could plan for them again in a few days if I want them.” I’m letting my mind run wild.

Corinne:

And that is the key concept of I think that when it comes to how I teach weight loss is different than everybody else is that it’s not the foods that we’re choosing, it’s that we’re letting our mind run wild while we eat. We’re not learning how to talk to ourself about food. We’re not even putting ourselves, like my friend Jane this weekend, we were talking about some stuff, and she was saying that so many people basically these days because of the diet industry, we’ve had so much trauma from them that we need exposure therapy around basic foods that we love.

Corinne:

I can’t tell you how many people practically will break out into a cold sweat if they think they’re going to have to go to a party and there might be cake. We should not have this level of fear around food, everyone. This is bullshit. We should be able to go to a party and know that if we want a piece of cake, we can have some. So that we can just have a few bites of cake if we want it, be like, “This was delicious, I’m so glad I had it,” and then go about the rest of the day like a normal fucking person rather than just showing up, thinking we’re not supposed to have cake, have the cake, think about how bad we are how we fucked up, we blah, blah, blah. And then go face down in food for two days because we’re so ashamed of eating cake. It’s not supposed to be that way, but that’s what we’ve been taught.

Corinne:

And the diet industry, when they give us food plans and stuff, they’re just perpetuating this myth that food has control of us and the only way that you’re going to be able to lose weight is you’re going to have to cut out these foods that you love. You’re going to have to only eat these certain foods that we’ve deemed are good for you. It’s bullshit, it’s all bullshit. The real solve for weight loss is not so much in what you’re choosing to eat, it’s the first step is learning how to talk to yourself around food, how to let your guard down, how to learn how to actually have food you love like a normal person would. That’s it. That’s why I don’t teach a lot of diet plans. This is why I teach the 24 hour doable plan method. You can get it in the free course.

Corinne:

And this is the other part that slays me, one of the things that the diet industry does too is they bastardize so many of the foods that culturally are important to us. They’re our family traditions, they’re the things that our grandmothers made for us. They have memories attached to them, they have special significance in our life. And we’re being told that these things that are important are now bad. So in order to lose weight, I am also supposed to let go of an important part of my life, in order to just lose weight. I don’t think you have to do that. I think that what we want to do is we want to figure out a way to lose weight that allows us to have the life we want, that allows us to live the life we want, that allows us to lose weight in a way that we want to live for the rest of our life. I don’t want to give up my favorite foods in order to lose weight, what I really want to do is I want to learn how to include them in a way that I eat them with calm and confidence and gratitude and pure enjoyment.

Corinne:

I want to teach you guys how to actually have a holiday and enjoy the food, unlike last year, which this is what ends up happening like specifically around holidays. We’re enjoying these foods that have a special place in our life. We go and we think, “Well, I’m probably not going to be able to lose weight,” so we go into what I call fuck it mode. Fuck it, I’m just going to eat. You’re not even enjoying them at that point. What you’re doing is you’re numbing out the judgemental voice. You’re numbing out the voice that’s going to be like, “You’re going to regret this,” when you go into fuck it mode. I want you guys to be able to walk up into a holiday knowing, “I’m really going to enjoy this food and I’m going to be grateful for it. And I’m only going to eat to enough, because the last thing I want to do is wake up tomorrow full of regret and shame and sick to my stomach because I ate too much.” This is what the diet industry is missing out on, teaching us these important concepts. We have to start rewriting all of this, because it is ruining not only just women but men and women’s relationship with food in so many different ways. Go ahead, Kathy.

Kathy:

Hey Corinne. Yeah, I was just going to mention our team member Dena who is the self professed foodie, who talks all the time about how when she goes on vacation she’s going to eat the local foods. She loves all her cultural heritage foods. She doesn’t restrict anything and she’s lost 40 pounds, I think it’s 40 right? And talks all the time about she has figured out how to eat enough and still lose weight and still maintain her weight eating all the foods that she loves. Her story is just incredible that way.

Sarah:

And Dena too just went on a vacation for several weeks and she came back and she said she only gained one pound on vacation and she weighed the day after she got back. So she probably lost weight or maintained on vacation because when you fly you get bloated. So isn’t that amazing?

Kathy:

And she flew for a long time, she flew across the country and over the waters.

Corinne:

Just so you guys know, Dena went to Hawaii. She spent two weeks. I’m like, “Y’all tell where she went,” it was an amazing trip. Dena lives in, what does she live, South Carolina or North Carolina? She lives in one of the Carolinas.

Sarah:

North Carolina.

Corinne:

Yeah. And she flew to Hawaii, spent two weeks there, ate the food. I’m sure she hula danced because she likes to do all kinds of dancing. Hiked, she did everything she wanted to do. This is the important thing about when it comes to having a diet plan, how you lose weight, you’ve got to be able to take on vacation with you. Who sitting here is not going on vacation? No fucking body. We’re all going to have trips, we’re all going to have holidays, we’re going to have birthdays, we’re going to have office parties. We’re going to have things. You’ve got to start losing weight in a way that allows you to have your life too. We can’t give up our life in order to lose weight. We want to learn how to lose weight while enjoying and living our life. It’s got to fit into the lifestyle. All right, I think it’s probably time to pull some people up so we don’t go to long today.

Sarah:

Yeah.

Corinne:

All right, thank you.

Sarah:

I’m pulling some people for questions. Thank you so much, what a great discussion we’re having. And I just want to remind everyone, if you would like to learn more about Corinne’s simple weight loss program or take her free course, you can go to nobs.club, that’ll take you to signup for the course. It’ll also get you on our email newsletter list, which is really important. Corinne mentioned something about good, better, best. This is a concept that teaches you what to eat and what you can eat to lose weight that you’ll actually enjoy. And she teaches a whole day of this in her free challenge, Taking Control of Food, that’s coming up here. So challenge registration opens July 25th and we’re holding this challenge, it’s a free challenge, we have a great Facebook community if you love Facebook. Corinne teaches every day and that is August 1st through 7th. So go to nobs.club so signup and make sure you’re on our email list to make sure you get invited to attend that challenge. All right, we’re going to get to our first question this morning. Cheryl, good morning, do you want to unmute and say, “My question is”, and then ask Corinne and Kathy your question?

Cheryl:

Good morning. My question is, how do you handle what I’m referring to as the negative Nellie friends that you have? Not so much family, but it’s actually my best friend that has this, “Oh, if I’m eating, you have to eat,” even after I’ve tried to be nice but I’m to the point now where I really want to just punch her in the face, as someone said earlier.

Corinne:

So, why? Give me a really good example. Let’s say you two go out to eat, are y’all going out to eat?

Cheryl:

No. Okay, for example, yesterday, we don’t work on Mondays and so we try to go to the movies every other Monday. And so here in Washington state the theaters are back open and everything, so we went to the movies and I ordered a small popcorn and a bottle of water and she says, “Oh, well I’m getting a pizza.” And I said, “Okay, cool”, just let it go. And she says, “Well, I’m going to get you one.” “No,” I told her, “I don’t want one.” And so it almost ended up in an argument where I walked out of the movies because she turned around, still bought the pizza, I did not eat it and she got mad. And I tried to explain to her, “I’m not hungry. I bought the small popcorn just in case because I didn’t want to get up in the middle of the movie.” And I ended up only eating not even a quarter of the popcorn. I wasn’t hungry. I did not want to eat.

Corinne:

Right. This is where I think the problem is. You decided not have pizza, you ate your popcorn, she got mad, and now you’re mad that she’s mad rather than just being like let her be mad. Why not just let her be mad?

Cheryl:

You’re right. And my whole thing was I came home and I explained this to my husband and my husband goes, “Why don’t you just tell her what you’re doing?” And I said, “I’ve told her until I’m blue in the face.” And honestly, I’ve tried to get her to listen to your podcast [crosstalk 00:23:58]

Corinne:

But listen Cheryl, this is what I’m trying to show you, you have it in your head she needs to change so that you can not be mad, so that you can feel good, so that you can be at ease around her. You’re trying to change her so that your feelings can change. What do I teach you in No BS? Where do your feelings come from?

Cheryl:

Exactly.

Corinne:

Your thoughts.

Cheryl:

It’s on me.

Corinne:

Exactly. So if you’re thinking, “She shouldn’t be doing this. She should listen to this. I’ve already told her these things.” When you think all of that, you feel like shit, and yeah I’m pretty sure you do walk out and you do those things. What I would be thinking is, “I’m very proud of myself that I’ve got a friend who even when she buys pizza and presents it to me at a theater that I can still just eat my half a popcorn and be good. And if she wants to be mad, I’ll let her be mad.”.

Cheryl:

Okay yeah, that puts it back on me. It’s my feelings, not her feelings. I’m the one feeling this way and I need to change the negativity in me.

Corinne:

Yes. Because this is what’s happening, and this is all of you, when you guys have a friend who wants you to eat with them and does all this other stuff. When you are spending time pissed at them because they’re not on board yet with your diet or haven’t started. “I don’t know why they won’t listen to the podcast.” When you’re spending all that energy over there, you’re losing out on the energy you could be spending being proud of yourself thinking about all the amazing things you’re doing, overcoming your own obstacles. You’re missing out on the, “I’m going to sit here and reinforce how great I’m doing.” You can’t do that while you are spending energy on needing someone else to basically make it easier on me. Make it easier on yourself by having amazing thoughts about you.

Corinne:

It’s like so what if she ordered you two Domino’s and had them delivered to the seat that you’re sitting in. You still could have an easy time if you sat there and just be like, “No, I’m not going to eat it. If she wants to be mad, that’s not on her. But I’m so proud of myself that this is how I take care of myself now.” And one day maybe she’ll get on board. She’s more likely though to get on board if you just continue to celebrate yourself to where you can continue to show up for you and you’re showing up around who you want to be in front of her. One day she’s probably going to be like, “Wow, I should probably quit wasting my money on extra pizza. Getting mad about it’s not worked, so maybe now I just won’t buy the pizza.”

Cheryl:

Exactly. That’s what I needed to hear. So I’m the one that’s got the negative. So no, thank you so much. I needed that today.

Corinne:

Awesome, Cheryl. You’re doing great.

Cheryl:

Thank you.

Corinne:

Be very proud of yourself for real. I will tell all of you, it’s not easy when you have somebody sitting there who, so just so we’ll tie it up for you, is the way that I like to look at friends or family who we call them unsupportive. And very often that’s what we end up doing is like we have this group of people that they keep offering me food, they push food, whatever’s happening with them, and then we make an assumption that that means they’re not supportive. I like to make the assumption that it has nothing to do whether or not they’re wanting to support me or not, I always make the assumption that they’re not used to the new me yet. They’ve got to get used to the new me. And in order for them to get used to the new me, I have to keep showing up as the person that I want to be so that they can adapt.

Corinne:

Most of the time what we have done, this is what the diet industry has taught us, we’re often on diets all the time, we’re always doing some kind of crazy bullshit. Well guess what? We train people around us that, “Yeah, well you just got to offer it for a little bit longer because she always caves. At the end of the day, she’s going to break. She’s never been able to stick to a diet.” That’s their thinking and that’s what they’re operating under. It’s not that they’re not supportive, they’re just going on how we’ve trained them. So now we’ve got to train them in something new, we got to train them that this is the new me, get to know me, this is what it’s going to be like. And eventually, I think people adapt. That’s just the way humans are. But in the interim, while they’re adapting, don’t piss yourself off by thinking, “They’re unsupportive, they should be doing this, blah, blah, blah.” Otherwise, you set yourself up to not follow through because the worse you feel about things, the more angry you get, like if you’re in pissed and anger most the time, you’re more likely to cave. If you’re supportive of yourself, cheerleading yourself, you’re more likely to stay moving forward.

Corinne:

And if you guys want, Kathy if you’ll look, there’s some notes, I don’t have my glasses on, but I think there’s a podcast or something that we’re going to give them. If not, y’all can tell them what else we’re going to do. So, go ahead y’all.

Kathy:

Yeah, so actually next week Corinne, our topic in this clubhouse is how do I get my family to support me? And all of these concepts can totally relate to friends that you go to the movies with, co-workers and anyone else in your life. And I wanted to add too, for Cheryl, not only is your friend getting used to the new you, so are you. You are also creating her and figuring her out, so you’re going to have these periods of uncertainty on, “How do I handle this? How do I handle them? How do I handle myself?” And it’s all so normal, it is all just part of your growth process into the person that you want to be as you lose your weight. So next week in this room on this clubhouse on this podcast is How do I get my family to support me?

Sarah:

I love it, I cannot wait. Cheryl, thank you so much for your question this morning.

Cheryl:

Thank you. I really needed to hear that this morning. Thank you.

Sarah:

We appreciate you coming up on stage and sharing that. And I just want to remind everyone in the audience, if you’re new to Corinne, you can head to nobs.club to take her free course that teaches simple weight loss. All right, we’re going to go on next to Lisa’s question. Good morning Lisa, what is your question? And make you say, “My question is.”

Lisa:

My question is, how do I make a plan when I’m driving across country? How do I continue to lose weight?

Corinne:

Okay, so this is super simple. You just write down on a piece of paper what you’re going to eat for the day. When you’re driving across country, you’re probably going to end up at a gas station or a drive through. So let’s say Corinne’s driving across country, and let me just tell you, I’ve already taken three trips to Vegas since Memorial Day and figured out a food plan for every single day not knowing jack shit about where we’re going to eat. So all you need to do is think about, “All right, am I liked to stop at gas stations? If so, here are the things I’m allowed to have. If I’m going to stop at fast food, here are the restaurants I will let myself stop at and here’s the things that I will eat from them.” Most people, when you’re driving across country, you kind of know what you’re going to do. Like it’s kind of a lie for us to think that we don’t know what we’re going to be doing. But humans are very much creatures of habit. Like you probably only like certain gas stations.

Corinne:

You I know my husband and I, when we take a long trip, we will go out of our way or I will nearly pee my pants because I’m only going to stop at a Pilot. I love Pilot gas stations, they got the best coffee, they’ve always got good, clean restrooms and I know that I’m going to be always looking for a pilot. But there are things you can do. So like for all of you, if gas stations in particular nowadays, almost all of them have fresh foods. Used to be you couldn’t get shit at a gas station. Now, they have a lot of fresh foods. They’ve got cheese sticks, hard boiled eggs very often, you can get nuts, you can get a banana, you can get an apple. You can get all kinds of things at a gas station now. Same thing with drive throughs. I love Subway on a trip, we almost always will be stopping at Subways because I can get a big chopped salad if I want it, I can get a Subway and some chips if I want it. I just happen to love Subway. If you want a Wendy’s you can get a Wendy’s and a baked potato. There are places.

Corinne:

If you’re going to go to sit down restaurants you just make your plan ahead of time to say, “When I go to a sit down restaurant I’m going to pick a place on the exit where I can get a salad or where I can get a burger with no bun. And maybe I’m only going to eat half an order of french fries.” All you have to do is take your brain and think, “Okay, what are the things that we’re most likely to do?” And you put those on the plan.

Corinne:

So if I was going to be traveling and I was going to be driving and stuff, I would just make what I call the vacation plan. It’s like when we stop at gas stations, these are the things I’m going to be looking for. When we stop at fast food, here are the fast food restaurants I’m going to be looking for and here are the things that I’ll eat. When we go to a sit down restaurant, here’s the kinds of restaurants I’m going to look for and here are the kinds of foods that I’m going to eat. You get all that laid out, and then each day your basic plan is, “I follow my vacation protocol, I only eat when I’m hungry, and I stop at enough.” So before I walk my happy ass into a gas station, I’m going to ask myself, “Am I actually hungry or am I bored as fuck driving and wanting a snack to entertain myself while I drive?” So it’s like that’s how you set up a food plan for when you’re traveling. You just think about those thing and then you get it all written out on paper.

Kathy:

Yeah, and I have something to add too Lisa. Your brain and your stomach go everywhere with you. You can always ask yourself, “Am I hungry? And have I had enough?” And you rely on that stomach of yours to tell you when it’s time to eat and it’s okay if you have to wait for that next Pilot for another 30 minutes or an hour if you’re a little bit hungry. All that is okay. So your brain and your stomach go with you, you know intellectually what you want to eat, what’s good to eat, what you’re ready to eat when you hit that Pilot gas station. You know it’s probably not the Snicker bar, it might be the chopped salad that Corinne mentioned or something like that. So just remember, you have everything you need.

Sarah:

Thank you so much for your question, Lisa.

Lisa:

Thanks.

Sarah:

All right, we are going to take our next question from C, but before you ask your question I just want to remind our audience, if you have a weight loss related question or you’re curious about what to eat to lose weight, please raise your hand, we’re going to have time for about one more question after C before Corinne shares three ways to know exactly what to eat here at the top of the hour. So C, what is your question?

C:

Hi, thank you so much for bringing me up. I just wanted to really quick give a tip to Lisa about where to eat on a road trip, but I do have another question. I always stop at a grocery store when I’m road tripping. At a grocery store, they’re everywhere, and you go straight into the deli area and get a big salad and a yogurt. So that’s always been really good for me. So my question is, I understand Corinne that I guess what you’re striving for, if I may rephrase it, so the way my brain works is that you want to get the neuroses out of food, have a nice relationship with food like normal, healthy people do and that you have an intention for food during the day. I do find that if I have say a big blow out with my husband and I’m very, very, very upset, I’ve always looked to eating a couple candy bars and it calms my nerves.

Corinne:

No, candy will not calm your nerves.

C:

It has for me.

Corinne:

No, it doesn’t. Let me tell you what happens.

C:

Okay.

Corinne:

All right, this is important. The reason why I’m dead stopping you here is because even when I said, “That’s not what happens,” you’re like, “Oh no, it has.” Your brain is very convinced. There is no way in hell you thinking candy calms your nerves will ever help you in the long run in your relationship with your husband, your relationship with yourself, or your relationship with food. That’s the reason why that thought is a killer. When we think, “Candy helps my nerves after an argument,” then we feel permissive. Then every single time something happens, our brain is like, “Oh wait, we need to look for candy.” The direction is, that’s what helps us. We have to reteach your brain that number one, that that was never really happening to begin with, and I’ll tell you why in just a second. And, we need to reteach your brain that the best way to calm your nerves is to always change your thinking, not to search for candy.

Corinne:

So the reason why it feels like candy has calmed your nerves is because husband and you have a blow out, you have thoughts like, “He shouldn’t have done this or this is terrible or I can’t handle this.” Your brain is looping in some bullshit thinking. And it feels traumatic and bad. Like when you said it’s a blow out and I need to get candy to calm myself down. So you’re agitating yourself. So the argument happens, then your brain has thoughts about the argument and that’s agitating the fuck out of you. And so your brain says, “Let’s get candy.” The reason why you calm down is because when you’re eating the candy, you stop thinking about the argument. It has nothing to do with the candy. That’s why you calm down. So every thought that you have has a feeling attached to it. So if you’re agitated, like tell me when you and your husband have a blow out, what are some agitating thoughts you have about him or the argument?

C:

Yeah, well every marriage has it, you’re furious, you’re angry, insensitive, somebody’s narcissistic, you’re mad.

Corinne:

But what are your thoughts about it that make you mad? See, you think the argument is making you mad. Your thoughts about the argument are where your anger lies. So husband says, “You’re a complete bitch and we should have never gotten married.” That’s now a fact in the world. Then when you think, “What a narcissistic bastard, he should never say those things to me,” then you get angry. Anger cannot happen until the brain looks at something that’s happened and has a judgment about it. Now, this isn’t to say that you shouldn’t be angry, it’s just to show you that anger can’t happen inside of your body until a thought about what your husband says occurs. That’s how all feeling work in the world. And the reason why it’s important to know this is because if your thought about the argument is, “This shouldn’t be happening,” or, “I can’t handle this,” then you’ll always be driven to go get candy.

C:

Okay, so you’re saying anger’s a byproduct.

Corinne:

It’s a bi-product of your thinking about the argument.

C:

Okay, so the way to control this then is to get to the root and basically get control of anger. That’s part of it.

Corinne:

Yeah. So either get control of anger or learn how to control your mind, like when you notice that your angry, you’ll need a though like, let’s say that he did say, “You’re a bitch and I never should have married you.” Well I don’t want you to be thinking, “Well, that’s just something he says, I know he loves me.” We don’t need to be in happy land.

C:

No I know, you get the reigns on it.

Corinne:

Yeah, but you want to be in a place where you feel in control of your emotions, which is, “I don’t tolerate someone talking to me like that.” Which is very different than, “They shouldn’t say those things.” Because if you’re thinking somebody shouldn’t say something, you automatically feel disempowered because you know in that moment you can’t control what other people are going to say. But if you’re thinking, “I don’t tolerate that,” you may feel angry but you’re also going to feel a sense of what I would call emotional calm on the inside as if I’m drawing the line in the sand. I don’t need candy now.

C:

Mm-hmm (affirmative). Okay. So I respectfully would disagree slightly that I do know that food is a cheat, instead of going through what you said is a complex emotional process, I just get this little thing, I get a shot of dopamine, and perhaps it’s the lazy way to do things.

Corinne:

No, it’s not that.

C:

It hurts you in the long run, it kills you in the long run.

Corinne:

Right, that’s why your thought that, “Candy calms me down,” is a lie. Because here you are getting poached on candy. It obviously didn’t calm you down because in the moment you got distracted from why you were pissed, and then your distraction allowed you to laser focus in on, “Well, now I can’t lose weight. Now I got this candy problem.”

C:

Yeah.

Corinne:

That’s why that thought’s not helpful. This is, and I want you to really hear me when I say this because I coach people on this all the time, it is easy to find evidence that candy gives us dopamine and candy does these things, but all you’re arguing for is saying like, “Well now I have a lot of evidence for my brain to keep coping with candy as a good reason.” We don’t want to go to arguing for that, we can’t afford to sit there and say, “Candy is beneficial,” in certain moments.

C:

I hear you.

Corinne:

Do you see what I’m saying?

C:

Yes. I have to reject this concept completely and get control. And I have to be in control of my emotional state, it’s my responsibility. Okay. And then it’s not just an argument, I’d say when I have like my nerves. When I’m nervous about, even a job interview I’m nervous.

Corinne:

Are you inside my program, or no?

C:

Not yet.

Corinne:

Well, so inside the program we talk about this. So this is probably why this is a little bit of a confusing subject, module two of my program is all about thoughts and feelings and the real root of how, so most of us cope with our nerves, we cope with our anger, we cope with our negative emotions by, “Let me just eat. Let me just eat and take the edge off.” So one of the reasons why in my program the biggest part of it, like 80% of it is teaching you, “Well, how do I get nervous to begin with?” How do I identify the thinking that I’m allowing myself to have or the thinking that I don’t even know that I’m having create these moments in my life where I’m nervous and I’m anxious? And then when I’m nervous and I’m anxious I end up doing things or not doing things that just aren’t going to help me in the long run.

Corinne:

So if I really want to figure out how to start doing things that are super helpful for me, first thing I have to do is start relearning how to think about my life and think about situations. So if I go into a job interview, how do you train your brain to think more calming thoughts and to think about stuff that’s going to be helpful, versus just letting it run away like a freight train out of control thinking, “I probably won’t get hired, they’re going to think I’m stupid. I’m probably going to fuck it up.” A lot of times we just allow our brain to loop on that stuff, and we’ve never been trained on how to not think in those ways. And that’s basically what my program teaches when it comes to the food and stuff. So if you listen to the podcast, do you listen to the podcast?

C:

Yes.

Corinne:

Just make sure you listen to the podcast a lot on the thought stuff. And also listen to my mentor, it’s called the Life Coach School Podcast. That’s going to help you more with the whole understanding, if you go to her first 10 episodes of the Life Coach School Podcast, she’s on number 300 now, start with episodes one through 10. She will introduce, basically her framework is what I teach for weight loss only inside of my membership. So I would start there, if I was you.

C:

Okay, very good, thank you so much.

Corinne:

You’re welcome.

C:

Okay, thank you.

Sarah:

Thank you so much C for your question. I hope that we’ll see you inside our free challenge coming up here August first through seventh. And if you’re in the audience and want more information about Corinne’s No BS weight loss solutions and program, go to nobs.club and make sure to sign up for our free course. All right, we’re going to go to our next question, [Jamilla 00:45:08], would you like to unmute and say, “My question is”?

Jamilla:

Yes, thank you for having me, you guys are really giving good information here. My question is, I have an issue with late night snacking. And then the other thing is, dating and losing weight. Should I wait until I completely lose the weight or can I start dating people after?

Corinne:

No, you can start dating now. All right, I’m not even going to ask you why. This is why people do this. We act like there’s something wrong with us because we’re overweight. You got some weight, but Jamilla you’re still amazing, there’s still somebody out there for you. You just need to get out there and enjoy your life. You can be losing weight, but there’s no sense in delaying enjoying your life and delaying doing things because of weight. Like everybody just needs to make that as a collective agreement right now. The only reason why some of us would every want to say, “Well, I’m not going to date until I lose my weight,” is we fear rejection. Thin people get rejected too, so you might as well just start right now putting yourself out there. Some people will reject you, some people will love you. But you’re not going to know unless you’re doing it. And the other thing is, is if somebody rejects you, that has nothing to do with you. All of us need to quit making it mean like something must be wrong with me. If someone doesn’t want you, make it mean they just didn’t want you for their own reasons. But I want me and I want me for these reasons. And if I want me for these reason, I am sure I will find someone one day who will love all of these reasons.

Corinne:

So no, we’re not going to be delaying going out and stuff like that. I could talk all day on this, but time is of the essence. What was the first question? I got off on that tangent, I totally forget Jamilla.

Jamilla:

Thank you for answering that question. My first question was about late night snacking. I have an issue with like when I’m watching a late night movie on Netflix like at home and I’m just mindlessly eating. So I need some help with that.

Corinne:

Okay, so that’s a good question. The first thing I want to say is, so for everyone who’s a No BS woman and for all of you that join in August, our entire month of August will be dedicated to our overeating windows. So for a lot of us, one of the overeating windows is eight o’clock at night, Netflix time, 10 o’clock at night, that window. Teachers typically, it’s the four to six o’clock window. All of us have what I like to call this certain time of day that we have an overeating window where we’re just more prime to want it, to have it, to sabotage, to do all the things. If it was me, and this is one of the things that I will be teaching in the month of August, is the first thing that I would do is rather than cut out the snacking, I would start with putting it on a plan.

Corinne:

So if you haven’t taken my free course, make sure you do, the 24 hour doable plan. So you want to make sure you write down, “All right, so tonight when I’m watching the Netflix, I’m going to have this.” And you write down exactly what you’re going to have. The reason why this is important is because what ends up happening is that right now what happens is a lot of us will say like, “I’m not going to eat tonight. I do it every night. This is the night I’m getting serious,” and blah, blah, blah. Then we roll up, we want to eat, and then we start doing this shit, “Well, I’ll start tomorrow. It’s too hard not to eat. I won’t even enjoy Netflix if I don’t. I deserve it, it’s such a long day.” What we do is we get really good at just letting our habit bullshit excuses drive our eating. We don’t need to get better at our habit bullshit excuses. We don’t need to keep practicing them.

Corinne:

So I always say first intervention point is plan it, and then before you eat it say, “Okay, am I hungry or am I not? If I’m not hungry, I just want to make sure that I understand I’m getting ready to have a snack while I’m watching TV that won’t help me lose weight and that I’m not even hungry for.” So we’re teaching the brain a whole nother conversation around it. It’s not so sexy anymore when you have to have that conversation. Now, if you want to eat it, eat it. If you have that conversation, you’re kind of like, “Whoa, I never really stopped to think about it that much,” and you don’t want it, you just don’t eat it.

Corinne:

Intervention point number two becomes, “All right, so now I’m going to plan it but I’m going to plan a little bit less or something better quality than I normally do, so I’m going to level up there.” So like when I first started losing weight, I planned less ice cream. I ate ice cream every single night. Over the course of time, I just got to where I was planning a little bit less and less and less until I kind of weened myself off of it. It was like I finally decided, “You know, I don’t know if I actually even need it anymore. I’m starting to really enjoy my life, I’m starting to change all my thinking and stuff.” So the need for it went away. So the intervention point number two would be plan something different.

Corinne:

Intervention point number three, as you keep going, can be deciding, “All right, just for tonight, can I just not have it and see what the experience is like without it? See if I can enjoy my show, see if I can do those things.” That would be the third thing that I would try. So I would do at first just get conscious about it, second start getting to where it’s just a little bit less food or a little bit better quality, third would be, “Can I just give it up all together for this night?” And then each night decide do you want to do it again? And allow your brain to not get too focused on, what we do a lot of times on that third step is, “Well, if I don’t have it tonight, that means I can never have it again.” Tell your brain to shut the fuck up, that is not even true. It’s like we’re just working on tonight. If tomorrow we want to add it back in, we will. But for tonight, this is what we’re doing. And then that helps us just create a little bit of momentum, break some habits around excuse eating and things like that. So I hope that was helpful.

Jamilla:

Oh my god, that was super helpful. Thank you so much.

Sarah:

Thank you for your question, Jamilla. We have one question left until Corinne shares three key ways to know what to eat. Deanna, what is your question, this is going to be a real quick question and answer. Unmute and let us know.

Deanna:

Hi Corinne, I will go as quick as possible, thank you for having me. My question is, when you were losing your weight, how did you reassure yourself that you didn’t have to do any fad diets or anything crazy? I’ve basically been surrounded my whole life by friends and family that do crazy shit like keto and the newest one is Octavio where people are eating like 600 calories a day. So basically, how did you reassure yourself that you didn’t need to do that and just trust yourself that you were doing the right thing?

Corinne:

Super simple. I literally told myself I wasn’t going to.

Deanna:

[crosstalk 00:52:25]

Corinne:

Yeah, I just literally said, “I’m not doing anything bat shit ever again.” What I did was, you think diets are crazy now, I was dieting in the days where you could practically get speed at the GNC. I had been on all the crazy diets and most of it unregulated. It’s like at least nowadays I feel like some of this stuff a scientist at least looks at it before they give it to us. But I knew that when I started that all of the crazy diets, the only thing that I had ever done was regain weight. Now this is important for all of you, did Corinne lose weight? I bet you I lost 75 pounds four different times, but I didn’t tell myself, “Yeah, but you lost weight on that diet.” I told myself the truth, “You’ve never been able to do one of those diets and keep your weight off. They’ve never worked for you. You’ve only regained weight every single time. You’ve only done those diets and gone bat shit crazy on the back end and developed disordered eating around it.” You want to break the tie, then quit selling yourself a sexy story around bat shit crazy diets. “Well it worked in ’84 and I was the thinnest I ever was and I was so happy.” No you weren’t, and in 2024 you’d be the same.

Corinne:

So we have to tell the truth. Don’t tell yourself a big stack of lies about these bullshit diets you’ve been on and pretend that they were so great. They’re only great if they last. They’re only great if you feel freedom around food. They’re only great if you feel better about yourself emotionally and not sitting around at the end of it terrified you’ll gain weight. Why do Octavia, I think it’s like shakes and 600 calories, why do that if the moment you hit maintenance you’re going to be at the crossroads of like, “All right, I’m really thrilled I lost weight, but I’m scared to fucking shit because I don’t know how to eat any other foods other than shakes and 600 calories.” I don’t want to do a diet that at the end of the road I now have to figure out how to not be scared to death I’ll regain my weight. I want to do a plan that when I get to the end of it I’m like, “I love the life I’ve created. I love that I feel confident around food. I love that I learned how to unwind my conditioning around diets so that I have no reason to ever fear I’ll gain weight again. I could do this every day on rinse and repeat for the rest of my life like a no brainer because I like it.”

Corinne:

Most of us are not picking diets from that mindset, we’re just trying to pick diets from our busted ass story that, “It’ll be okay, I can make myself do it because losing weight will be so great that I’ll be willing to suffer the rest of my life around food.” No you won’t. Because if you’re listening to this and you’re regained weight, you already know that you’re not the kind of person who’s going to lose their weight, be so excited to be thin, that for the rest of your life you’re willing to make yourself do shit and sit around and worry that you’ll regain weight. You are the kind of person that’s just like Corinne who when they finished a diet, they always cracked underneath that pressure and they went back to the only thing they knew, which was eating. That was all I ever knew. To feel better, I better eat. To feel relief, I better eat. And if that’s you, you’ve got to unlearn that. You’ve got to learn how to use your mind to love yourself. You’ve got to learn how to use your mind to feel better. You got to learn how to use your mind to take a look at the things that are going on around you in life and have a different perspective. Those are the real keys to weight loss. So is that helpful?

Deanna:

Immensely helpful. And I needed to hear it. Thank you. I cannot thank you enough, you’re amazing.

Corinne:

Well, thank you.

Sarah:

Thank you so much for your question. Corinne, you ready to wrap it up?

Corinne:

I am ready. Let me put my glasses back on. I keep whipping them off my face. All right, here’s the three keys to knowing what to eat. Number one, when you’re making your plans, so here’s the thing, make your food plans. Pay attention to your body. These three things will let you know if it’s working or not. Number one, if you’re getting the shits of constipated, this is probably a food that although you may love the taste of it, in the long run, you might want to question if you want to keep including it. I always tell people, it’s like, “Plan anything you want to eat, but raise your standards just a little bit. Don’t just be all about the taste.” I don’t want to eat foods that give me diarrhea or constipation, I don’t care how fucking delicious it is. I have decided to raise my standards and be like, “There’s plenty of good tasting foods in the world, I will eat those. These few that I really like that jack my colon up, I’m just going to call that a no now. And I’m doing that because I’m smart and I love myself.”

Corinne:

Number two, if you eat some shit and you feel bloating and achy after you eat it, this is again a really good sign that although you may like it, it may not like you very much. So just pay attention. Do I burp a lot? Do I get heartburn? I know that a lot of people how have arthritis and stuff, there are just certain foods that when they eat them over a course of few days, they’ll notice their arthritis has skyrocketed. Look for those things, and then start questioning, “Is the taste of this food worth the physical price I have to pay?” And then the third thing of knowing what to eat, some of you have what’s called faux hunger, which means that like for me eight o’clock Netflix eaters, my four o’clock teachers who are eating when they get home, they actually get a few hunger signals because every single night they’re eating because they think they deserve it, they’re bored, they’re tired, they need a break. They’re eating for every reason other than they’re hungry. Well, when you do that over a long period of time, guess what your body does? Conditions itself and says like, “Oh, it’s three o’clock, let’s send up some hunger signals because that bitch is stressed out and she’s going to need to eat.” Like your body’s working with you on what you keep allowing it to do over and over again.

Corinne:

So, a solve for this one is you ask yourself, if an apple or a carrot won’t solve the hunger right now, I’m probably not actually hungry. It’s probably faux hunger, it’s probably emotional hunger, it’s probably hunger that’s been conditioned. Drink you some water, give yourself 20 minutes, do something different and I bet you that that bullshit hunger goes away. But you got to be willing to do that part rather than just believing every damn thing that you think that comes into your mind about needing to eat in the moment. So number one, if you get the shits or constipated, it’s a no. Number two, if you feel bloated or achy after you eat, it’s probably a no. Number three, if an apple or a carrot won’t solve it, it’s probably a no. Your job is once it’s a no, to tell yourself, “And this is a good reason to say no. What’s not a good reason to say no anymore is because of some bullshit scare tactic that the diet industry has given me.” That kind of eating, that’s a no. We’re not doing that shit anymore. We’re not listening to them anymore. But I will listen to my body, my body knows some shit and it’s probably desperately trying to tell me every single day how to set up my food plan, I just need to fucking listen for a minute. And that’s my three keys.

Sarah:

Wow, amazing. A huge transformation from what we see plastered all over social media is listening to your body instead of listening to these diet plans. Incredible. Well thank you so much Corinne and Kathy and everyone who’s listening to the podcast here life or the recording. This has been an amazing hour here with Corinne and Kathy. If you want more information, please go to nobs.club. You can sign up to take Corinne’s free course or get on our mailing list so you can make sure you’re invited to Corinne’s Take control of food challenge coming up here at the end of the month. Have a great week, and we will see you next week for How do I get my family to support me? It’s going to be another great episode of Losing 100 Pounds With Corinne. And with that, bye y’all see you next week.

Corinne:

Bye, everybody.

Corinne:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.



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